Allies, it IS on you…

People often ask a lot of emotional labour from adult workers.

It is definitely okay to be curious and it's important to further your understanding of our work so that you can be a better ally. But there's a way to do this in order to respect the group you're interested in.

Understand: the toll it takes on us to raise our voices and why we are not obligated to educate you.

It is incredibly triggering to speak about issues which directly affect you. The important things we need to talk about as workers are often linked to trauma. To even talk about these things in the first place is a lot of emotional labour and can cause us distress.we are also often asked the same loaded questions on repeat.

this alone is enough to not be asking workers to explain themselves. But there are clearly other valid reasons why some workers have to stay silent often linked to stigma in society e.g. if they spoke out, their vanilla job would fire them.

The impact on speaking out...

Okay, an adult worker has plucked up the courage/energy to share information about their lived experience. The reactions to this can be even more triggering than the original content. There are plenty of allies who are supportive. But a lot of People often don't listen, then ask more emotional labour from you laced with stigma/misconceptions/triggering comments.

On a personal level, it has been something that has destroyed my mental health, even though my intention was to provide information and educate allies.

"How can I be a better ally and learn more?"

It's easier than ever to learn more about our work, the challenges we face and what you can do to help (without adding to our emotional load). There are many workers who often speak out about their experiences; listen to what we have to say and respond to calls to action.

I have a plethora of free resources on here and a on my podcast you can listen to. There's a huge resource list here with all kinds of media and accounts to follow for information. Diversify your sources; you should be listening to what a variety of people have to say, especially those who intersect with other marginalised communities.

Still have questions? Ask a worker if they would feel comfortable answering your queries and offer a tip as compensation for the extra emotional labour.

Demanding that a worker answers your questions is not allyship, it's entitlement.

Think twice before storming in someone's comments or barraging someone in their DMs.