FAQ: What advice would you give to someone wanting to start stripping?

My first and gut reaction is "don't".

I've written abundantly on this topic and won't be repeating here (if you want my justifications, please see my other resources on this topic).

If you insist, my pieces of advice from 6 years doing this job all over in 30+ clubs is as follows (please note that this is what has helped ME and things I wish I'd have known. These tips won't work for everyone)...

Find your coping mechanisms. And find them quickly. You won't survive without them.

Take the softest and purest parts of you, bury them away where noone can find them. Develop the thickest skin to guard them and pray you'll be able to find them again at the end of a shift. At the end of the week. At the end of your career.

Your stage name isn't a fun 'dress-up' fantasy world, it's your shield.

It's the character you play to protect the 'real' you- what's left of her by the end of all this. She protects your true identity- customers will want to find you outside and hurt you, never give away your real name, the real you (there are exceptions to this, but don't even consider this when first learning the trade). She is a way to compartmentalise your trauma. She'll be everything 'you' can't be: ruthless; no weaknesses; devastatingly perfect at all times; a chameleon to men's desires; tough enough to handle any situation. Make up is your war paint. Your outfit is your armour. Allowing you to sink ever deeper into your alter ego. There's a reason dancers who have been in the industry 10+ years are called veterans. There's a reason why non-SWers are called civilians. Treat every shift like a battle and be thankful if you make it through unscathed.

Never let a customer get under your skin.

Anyone who walks through that door; their opinion of you holds no weight. Whether they regard you as a queen or a peasant; their view on you means nothing. Letting any light in leaves you vulnerable to the dark. Indulging in the pedestal treatment opens you up to the cruelty all the more. Close your heart off to it all so nothing can penatrate your skin. Everything is water off a duck's back. Repeat after me:

Men's opinions of me are meaningless.

Men's opinions of me are meaningless.

Men's opinions of me are meaningless.

Learn to lap dance defensively.

Assault is never your fault, but learn how to avoid it best you can (I know how victim blamey this sounds).

Never turn your back to anyone you don't trust- trust isn't automatically given to customers, it's earned.

For too-handsy customers:

Is he submissive? If so, pin his hands and make it 'k!nky'.

Is he dominant? Blame everything on the club and say you want them to touch you, but the club will kick him out if he continues (whether the club actually cares or not).

Don't make promises you can't keep inside the dance room. Use ambiguity to your advantage.

Make the customer THINK he's always right.

Know your rights and join the Union.

Clubs are incredibly toxic and often have illegal working conditions.

I don't have much advice for dealing with management's exploitation, as this is something I have always struggled to cope with.

All's I can say is, find solidarity among workers in spite of the club's divisive methods. Join the Sxx Worker's Union to learn more about your rights and how to fight for them together.

Other practical tips:

ALWAYS count and keep track of your money. Don't take what a club says as face value- YOU calculate the commission as well as them. They don't trust you, so why should you trust them? Refer back to any paperwork and contracts when you can if something isn't adding up, e.g. with house fees and fines (again, all of this is usually illegal, and a lot of the time you just have to take it. But fight them where you can for your rights using their own 'rules').

Keep your head down. Stay out of trouble. Learn dancer etiquette.

Due to club's exploitative systems, tensions between your co-workers will be heightened.

We are forced to compete against each other for the bare minimum, so naturally, 'drama' ensues- learn club etiquette quickly to avoid as much as possible. Don't expect anyone to help you or even like you- your growing strength and knowledge is bread off of someone else's table. Don't hate the players, hate the game. If anyone is gracious enough to take you under their wing and show you the ropes, be forever grateful and reciprocate the kindness when you have the skills.

Do your time. Baby strippers often have a friction-filled reputation. If you want to co-exist in a club's ecosystem, sit back, listen and learn.

Set your boundaries.

A night is a night. Once it's over it's over. Leave with no regrets. This includes treatment of your own boundaries. Set your boundaries before the work and check in with them regularly. Often, clubs will have rules you must follow, but sometimes it's the wild wild west and anything goes.

Just because another dancer is doing something, doesn't mean you should/have to. Work within YOUR comfort levels.

It's a huge privilege to say, but not all money is good money. Never let your suffering outweigh the '££number' that you walk away with. Forgive yourself when you don't stick to this.

Travel as safely as possible.

Ensure security escorts you to your car or taxi and make them watch you leave. If driving, don't drive under the influence or when you're too tired (advice I struggle with). Have a nap in your car if you need or stay with a friend/book a hotel if travelling far.

If using public transport is your only option, travel with friends or at least have a friend on the phone the whole way. Download the SOS Friends and Family app to easily alert loved ones and the police if something's wrong.

Only breath and relax when you've made it home and you're behind a locked door.

Substance abuse

Stay away from the alcohol and the drvgs- they are ever present and near impossible to avoid, I know. They are incredibly tempting due to: how accessible they are; the brutal and unnatural working hours; a way to numb yourself from customer abvse. But they will royally fxck with your health and your money. They may also cost you your job.

Customers will want to 'party' with you. Do what you can to stay sober, including setting up a code word with the bar so you can access alcohol free drinks without the customer knowing.

Clubs are not good in dealing with substance abvse and offer limited support and harm reduction. It's something they often turn a blind eye to and pretend like there isn't a problem. They will fire you if you are too drunk. They will fire you if they find drvgs on you. They are not interested in helping you, they are only interested in punishing you. This makes substance abvse all the more dangerous.

Please seek help if you suffer with substance abvse, some resources here:

  • See your GP for help and guidance.

  • Don't suffer alone- talk to your friends and family.

  • Drinkline is the national alcohol helpline.

  • AA is a free self-help group.

  • Nårcotics anonymous helpline.

  • Talk to Frank helpline/website.

  • Mind counselling offer accessible and income scalable therapy.

Wellbeing, physical and mental health.

Practising 'self care' can be challenging as a skripper. Do what you can do look after yourself.

  • Wash after a shift- club's are filthy.

  • Get STI tests if necessary.

  • Sleep all you can- it will never be enough to not feel zombified.

  • Fuel your body as much as possible and drink water endlessly- you'll never not feel empty and thirsty.

  • Stay away from work if you are unwell if you can.

  • Take breaks from work when you can.

  • Be mindful of the strain the job takes on your body. Limit heel wearing outside of work. Warm up before stage sets. Stretch during the night and after.

Due to many factors, suffering with MH problems is very common in the industry. Talk to your friends and family. Seek help with your GP if you're experiencing depression or su!cidal thoughts. Samaritans is a hotline you can call. Do everything before you do the last thing.

Grounding

When you lose yourself, turn to your loved ones to guide you back and ground you. You are not your job. You are not your stage persona out of the club. But equally, stay in club mode when chaining shifts together if it drains too much energy to transition.

My mindset is: Sex work isn't empowering. Nor is it degrading. It's just a job. This neutrality has kept me as sane as possible.

Job satisfaction

At any point, if you feel the job isn't for you, there is no shame in walking away if you can. Not all jobs are for everyone, and stripping demands a very specific lifestyle. Equally, if you fall in love with the job and it suits you in every way, allow yourself to feel that happiness.

Your feelings about the job will change, from night to night and overtime. Take time to reflect on your thoughts.

Have a back up plan if you can.

Stripping is never a 'backup career if all else fails', but do have a backup career you're working on if you enter SW. You may well need it if you need to or choose to exit.

Get out before it's too late (I don't even know how to articulate this one- it's just something that lives in mine and other dancers bones when you've been doing this for years on end).

If you've heeded all my warnings and it isn't the job you imagined, I refer you back to my initial gut reaction. If you still want to give it a go, welcome to the trenches...

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