How to be a Respectful Strip Club Client

Here are the following steps to being a respectful strip club client! A non-exaustive list of etiquette and tips to help you out on your visits.

Buy Dances

You wouldn’t go into a coffee shop and not buy a coffee right? Same with a strip club! This is not a substitute for a nightclub, a quiet place to drink or a place to get off with your boo in the corner (yes, that really does happen). A strip club is for you to get dances! Remember that in the UK, we usually pay the club to work (a house fee) and have to pay commission on dances. That’s right, we do not receive a minimum wage, so if you buy nothing, we get nothing. Make sure you buy at least one dance. Prices vary at different strip clubs, most UK dances start from around £20.

Don’t overstay your welcome

Bill has already had his singular dance of the night. Bill has been sitting at the bar for the past 3 hours nursing his beer. Bill has been entertaining dancer’s conversations, even though he knows he won’t buy another dance. Bill is enjoying spending time leering at half-naked women for free. Bill doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with his oggling. Don’t be like Bill.

In a nutshell, only stay as long as you are buying dances.

Tip!

Tipping may be a rare thing in UK culture, but let’s normalise it! Tip wherever you are engaging with a dancer, this includes conversation. Any amount is generally appreciated, but I would recommend a £5-£10 tip per £20 dance. Some dancers say T.I.P stand for ‘To Improve Performance’, so if you tip before your dance has even started, your dancer will make the effort to go all out for you ;)! Tipping afterwards will also show that you appreciate us, our service and that you really enjoyed your time with us. Tip for stage shows too, as we don’t get paid at all for these. Plus, do not hesitate to ask to pay a dancer to perform for you on stage. Remember that some clubs may take commission on tips too. To make sure the dancer gets to keep 100% of your gratitude, try to discretely hand them the cash.

It’s also polite to offer to buy a dancer a drink. If you’re going to VIP, then drinkS (do not try and force us to drink alcohol if it’s not for us).

For regular strip club customers, if you have a special regular dancer in mind, it’s thoughtful to bring presents every now and then (especially if it’s their birthday or it’s Christmas).

Cash is King

Bring cash with you and pay in cash wherever you can. The more customers pay in cash, the more the club will usually pay us in cash that same night. This means we don’t have to wait for all of our money via bank transfer. Some dancers are in really precarious situations and need access to cash quick. On top of this, there’s nothing more anxious as a dancer at an unfamiliar club than if they will actually pay you the money or not…

Some clubs do take extra commission from dancers on card payments, so use cash wherever you can to make sure we keep as much of our money as possible.

Of course, if you run out of cash and card is the only option, swipe away ;)

Respect Our Time

Only spend time talking to a dancer if you are genuinely interested in purchasing their services. Make it clear if you are not interested and be polite in your refusal (I’ve literally had people scream ‘NO!’ in my face before I’ve even opened my mouth). Do not string us along with a ‘maybe later’. If you do want a dance later, specify a time for them to come back or say you will approach them. Don’t hoard dancers: once you’ve had your fill in dances, encourage your dancer to move on to the next customer. I’m sure you got the idea in the ‘Tip!’ section, but don’t waste dancer’s time by talking to them too much, especially without financial promise. Want to just talk to us, no dances? Great! Let’s head to VIP hun because we can talk all night in there with a bottle of bubbly just us two…

Respect Our Boundaries

Respect boundaries in and out of dances. Follow the dancer’s lead. DO NOT touch the dancers unless the dancer invites or offers, and pay extra for this (Note: no touching is strictly prohibited in all UK strip club licensing, but some clubs are more lax about this and dancers have different personal boundaries). You are welcome to respectfully ask what a dancer’s boundary is, they may be open to offering extra services. But, once the boundary is set, do not push this, make the dancer feel uncomfortable or risk getting kicked out or even arrested due to assault.

Respect our boundaries in conversation too. Do not ask for our personal details. For example, do not ask what a dancer’s real name actually is; we have stage names for a reason and a lot of that has to do with our safety and privacy. Do not ask for a number/social media (the absolute singular exception is if you want to come back on a regular basis to visit this dancer- but you have to prove yourself first and this is outside the bounds of many dancer’s conduct and boundaries). Most of us try to keep our work and personal lives separate; so please respect this division and appreciate we are at work doing our jobs. Avoid invasive questions or make offensive comments, especially about our job. I get you may have a morbid curiosity about our jobs, but it’s not respectful to ask how much we usually make as marginalised and precaious workers- it’s evidently usually the ones who don’t spend any money on us who ask this question! We are here to have a good time as much as you are, so maybe don’t ask potentially triggering questions like ‘what does your dad think about your job?’

Treat us like you would any other human. Treat us with respect, politness, kindness and decency. Appreciate us and our work. If I had a pound for how many people told me to ‘do a twirl’ for them I wouldn’t need to be in this job anymore.

Enjoy yourself!

We are all here to have a good time! Many of us absolutely love our jobs and we love respectful customers even more. Relax and enjoy our services. Let’s have a great time together. Visiting a strip club should be an exciting adventure, so let us sweep you away into our fantasy world.

Pole Dancers: Don’t be Dicks

Sorry, I had to add this one in for pole dancers and really any women who choose to behave disresectfully.

I know the stage is beautiful. I know it calls you. You long to wrap your fingers around the pole and go for spin. I pray, DO NOT do this. Most clubs will not allow it anyway, but you are the client, leave the dancing to the dancers. It’s our jobs, do not get up on stage prancing about for free for all the other clients to see. Strip club poles are for strippers. Save it for the studio.

By the same token, do not walk in thinking just because you’re a pole dancer you could easily do this job. As mentioned earlier, we do not even get paid for stage shows, so your ‘talents’ are redundant here. Stripping is so much more about selling than it ever is dancing. If you’re still not convinced and maintain that because you’re a great dancer that this is the perfect job for you, please read this blog.

If interacting with other strip club clientele, be mindful of how you are talking to them. Think: ‘am I helping or hindering the workers?’ There’s not much worse than a half cut civvie stumbling into the club trying to pick up OUR customers. Please do not take work away from us. If you’re horny, go to a nightclub or play on Tinder. Stay out of our hunting grounds please.

For the same reasons, be mindful about how you dress. Again, could you potentially be drawing customers away from the workers? I wouldn’t ever want to police what someone chooses to wear, but if you’re coming into our place of work, please be considerate.

I think that’s it for now! Basically, you can’t go all that wrong if you respect us as humans and appreciate that we are here to work. At the end of the day, you are responsible for how our nights go and really we just want to give you the best experience possible and have a good time with you. Help us help you.