Feeling alone as a sex worker
The following excerpt is a speech delivered by Gemma at May’s PDSM Showcase
There are very few spaces where we are free to be who we truly are. This is particularly acute for marginalised and stigmatised groups of people. My job as a sex worker often leaves me feeling isolated and alone. It feels like people outside the job can struggle to understand and it can be hard to make friends with peers because we are pitted against eachother - even though we should be uniting to fight the systems at hand.
Sex workers are so often dehumanised and treated as 'non-people'. We are often viewed as 'the job' rather than as a person. We are often reduced to diverging stereotypes. Many sex workers have to remain in the shadows about their job, I'm lucky I can talk about mine. If I talk about the good aspects of my job, the work is glamourised. 'You're a hustler' they tell me, 'you're empowered ', 'you’re slaying the patriarchy', they do the *making it rain* motion but never do you see any paper.
If I open up about the bad sides of the job, I'm a victim. It's a burden for us to have to shoulder things like exploitation, terrible working conditions, customer abuse (sexual, emotional, mental and physical), substance abuse, being outcast by friends, family and society generally. For black and brown sex workers, the racism and fetishisation is real. Queerphobia and fatphobia in the industry is real. 'Find another job' they tell me, 'what you're doing is immoral', 'you're better than this, you could be so much more'.
We just can't win. If we dare to speak about our struggles, more often it is used as ammunition against us rather than motivation to help us improve our position. This is why clubs are getting shut down, this is why working conditions are worsening, this is why there are worrying changes in law and policy, this is why workers are funelled deeper into the seggs industry, this is why stigma reigns.
Sex Work Exclusionary Radical Feminists rarely pause to consider more relevant issues pertaining to sex work. If they stopped chasing the impossibility of eradicating sex work, they might help tackle root causes of why people enter the industry (other than the freedom of choice to do so). We should be focusing on poverty, systemic racism, queerphobia, ableism and transphobia.
There are very few spaces where we are free to be who we truly are. I'm very grateful to share with this community today. Each performer here has their own story and they have been brave enough to be vulnerable with you today. Thank you for sharing with us, thank you for listening to us, thank you for enjoying our art.
It's so important for the pole industry to keep supporting sex workers. It's where pole comes from and we need your help. Listen to us without judgement, fight for decriminalisation, be active in your support for us. If you are a sex worker, I highly encourage you to join Sex Workers United for solidarity and to fight for the better that we deserve.
