Queerphobia in Strip Clubs
It's pride month!
Pride isn't all about waving your rainbow flags. It's about understanding queer people's experiences and continuing to fight for gay rights. Let us not forget that pride was started by black trans sex workers at the stonewall riots of 69.
And so I thought I'd talk about how queerphobia presents itself in typical strip clubs, as gay rights and sex worker rights are linked.
Please note that the following comes from my personal experience as a UK based, pansexual stripper. I am a cis woman; the points where I talk about trans folks are from conversations with trans workers (not my own experience) and I am certain there is more nuance to add than what I am able to provide. Much of what I am presenting are generalisations, because as we know, queer folks are everywhere! Much of the problems I raise are a product of what can be a very heternormative environment curated by mostly straight cis men- who tend to be our largest pool of clientele.
Queerfishing
Unfortunately, we get a lot of customers pretend to be gay. They do this as an excuse to not get dances or to not interact with dancers. This is highly homophobic, especially as it's often accompanied with their friends finding it funny. It is not funny. There are more respectful and non-homophobic ways to decline a dance or to ask a dancer to move on. It also assumes that gay men couldn't enjoy what we do or compensate us appropriately in our place of work, when I've had experiences to counter this!
Straightwashing
Many customers assume my sexuality. It's not uncommon that one of the first questions someone will ask me is 'do you have a boyfriend?' or 'what does your boyfriend think about your job?'. What they are really asking is 'do I have a shot?' and 'how could anyone love a sex worker?/ ‘I couldn't love a sex worker', but it's all underpinned with the belief that I must be straight and monagamous. It doesn't matter if they are right, it's the assumption that's damaging to queer folk. In all honesty, this has shifted somewhat in my time as a dancer; once in a blue moon I will be asked more gender neutral questions which make room for my queerness like 'do you have a partner/someone special?'
Queer invisibility
Many customers assume that all the dancers are female, when in fact there are workers all across the gender spectrum. Trans workers are constantly misgendered at work, regardless of their physical presentation. Some non-binary and trans masc workers will choose to present as femme/assume a femme character (like drag) to camoflage into the heternormative environment. This can help to compartmentalise the misgendering and limit the damage to gender identity.
Management tend to be the worst culprits for misgendering dancers on a regular basis. It's not like the majority of strip clubs care about diversity/inclusivity training, they are barely run as legitimate businesses when we look at basic workers rights! We are constantly referred to as 'girls' rather than more accurate gender neutral terms like 'dancers' or 'workers'.
Coming from the top from management and filtering up from customers, these attitudes can often rub off on dancers if you stew in this environment for long enough as a cis woman. It takes constant work to shake off the queerphobic attitudes which are harmful to our non-female colleagues. Therefore, it’s unfortunate that workers can contribute to queerphobia in strip clubs as well.
Desexualisation Of Lesbianism
Queerness is so regularly dismissed by male customers as a reality in everyday life. It's not uncommon that male customers are perplexed when they see female customers in the strip club and are even more baffled when they see female customers enjoying our services. They refuse to acknowledge that the strip club is equally an experience gay women can partake in too and how valuable sexual entertainment can be for female clientele as well.
Fetishisation Of Lesbianism
While many customers refuse to recognise the validity of gay female clientele, they simultaneously fetishise the lesbian fantasy. Many customers are even more frothing at the mouth to consume performative lesbianism in the form of 'lesbian dances' or the fantasy of a 'BGG threesome'. In the same way as we use sexism and mysogny to capitalise off of the patriarchy, it feels equally natural as a queer woman to exploit the male gaze in regards to the lesbian fantasy.
Summary
Queerfishing, straightwashing, queer invisibility, the desexualisation and fetishisation of lesbianism are all very prevalent in heteronormative strip clubs. This can have damamging effects on queer workers.
There can be a lot of good queer experiences in strip clubs. For example, whenever you have an affirming interaction with a customer, like someone making room for my queerness in a neutral way. There is certainly a place for queer people as workers and as customers, even if the environment isn't usually queer friendly. I love it when I get to perform for respectful gay female clients. It can be an affirming experience for customers as well in sexuality and gender. I regularly interact with a trans male client who finds value in our services because we view him and treat him as a man.
You are more likely to have a good experience with dancers as a queer client, so don't let this post discourage you from visiting your typical strip club. However, there are more queer friendly pop up strip clubs which may have a vibe you are more comfortable with. But as a worker, queerphobia is highly prevalent. I believe as dancers, we should work to make space and validate our queer colleagues. Be really mindful and considerate of the language we are using (i.e. pronouns). We should also hold management and pther workers accountable when misgendering colleagues.